I, Masochist
I used to think I was unlike most guys in the respect presented in this song. Now I'm beginning to think it's more common than I had once thought, which makes me feel a lot better. What the hell am I talking about, no it doesn't. How does that silly saying go? Misery loves company? No it doesn't. Misery might tolerate company. Misery loves vodka. And I definitely reaffirmed that notion after being motivated to write this particular song.
here she comes, another opportunity
too late to seek immunity
the damned clock has already started
destination broken-hearted
there's something exhilarating
and a little intoxicating
about knowing i need to slow down
as i stomp the gas pedal into the ground
rule number one, fall in love
rule number two, see rule number one
i, masochist
sometimes it sucks to be me
i, masochist
but i just don't know any other way to be
go ahead and do your worst to me
you look like a wonderful curse to me
just let me revel in these emotions
that'll accentuate the implosion
i suppose i could try to change me
reconstruct and rearrange me
but that'd be the cheap way out
and then what the hell would i sing about
rule number one, fall in love
rule number two, see rule number one
i, masochist
sometimes it sucks to be me
i, masochist
but i just don't know any other way to be
Here's to Music
This was originally a Velvet Cockroach song, first recorded in the spring of 1988. I was 19 at that time, and immersed in my freshman year of college. A friend of mine from high school had loaned me one of his effects processors, which was supposed to be used on an electric guitar, but I chose to abuse my vocals with it instead. It actually didn't turn out too badly - there were enough echoes and delays going on that you couldn't tell quite as easily how off-key I was. You also couldn't figure out what the hell I was saying. Not that it was anything important. Hopefully the current version is more intelligible, although I'm pretty sure it's not any more important.
life might drag you to the ground
love might get you farther down
knock you over and all around
and hang you out to dry
then in it comes out of the blue
a melody and words so true
a kindred heart laid bare to you
singing a lullaby
do you think the first brave soul to sing
beat a drum or pluck a string
realized they'd given wing
to a bird that would never die
i wonder if their eyes saw that eagle light the sky
that makes us sing and dance when we really want to cry
musicians fade away
but the music death-defies
it floats your mind behind another's eyes
here's to music; may it live on; here's to the sweet everlasting songs
it tears you away
from the shackles of your hide
so you can find out just what's inside
here's to music; may it live on; here's to the sweet everlasting songs
it flies you away
on the wings of a melody
and shows you everything that you can be
here's to music; it shall live on; here's to the sweet everlasting songs
here's my music; may it live on, even when I'm gone
What About You
A personal tribute to the high-flying expectations of a night on the town. I've rarely tried rapping in a song, and this entry should make the reasons obvious. There's a certain freedom about not having to sing in tune though. Course, I ruined that by singing during the chorus. I pretty much convolute everything I touch. Actually this song was inspired by a trip to Vegas. A very nice-looking girl there told me I was "adorable" but she was already taken. So I turned to her equally-nice-looking friend and said "what about you?" She said no too, only without the "adorable" part, at which point I decided it was time for another drink before continuing to work the room. Gotta love that town.
saturday night in the city lights
singing na na na na na and i'm winging it
ringin' it in and bringin' it on
and racin' the stars to the break of dawn
ready to unwind, contracts unsigned
content with the blind leading the blind
breathing the cool air, checking for cab fare
just in case they've got the goose there
i think i like not knowin' where the night's not goin' baby
na na na na na and just maybe
the night will pay me, or might betray me
or maybe that smile of yours will sway me
i feel a spark shoot through the dark
your electric eyes have hit their mark
when you look at me, i wonder what you see
and where you think you'll be at three
what about you, yeah you, i'm talkin' to you
i'm not lookin' for love, i'm just lookin' for lookin'
na na na na na and i'm bookin'
a one way flight to the broad daylight
and i'm givin' you a personal invite
to whatever we line up, wherever we wind up
no matter to me if we leave the blinds up
whatever the sun brings, we'll find us something
to send our memories off and running
what about you, yeah you, i'm thinkin' of you
what about you, yeah you, i'm talkin' to you
what about you, yeah you, baby it's all about you
Small Pond
I've never written a song about a minor body of water before, so I hope this one doesn't suck too badly. You know, it's funny, I was going to tell you about this time that I went fishing in a small pond when I was a little kid, because my friends and I had so many exciting adventures that weekend, and some of those memories are going to stay with me for a lifetime, and it'd be a nice way to personalize this little blurb before sending you off to the lyrics, and then at the very last minute I realized I was completely making the whole thing up, so I guess I'm not going to bother telling you about it after all.
greetings earthlings
would you take me to your king
oh that's all you've got
well i guess i'll be going
the names of our wars
are really fun to say
that's why it's all right
if a bunch of us die for no reason every day
we're the chosen people
we're his pride and joy
we're a little boy
big big fish flappin' our fins with pride
looks like a big big pond until you see it from the outside
we've ruled this world
for ten thousand years
a quarter of a hundred thousandth of how long it's been here
and the sun in our sky
is special as a mote of dust
too bad for us
big big heads swimmin' in confusion
it's a big big drop from the top of an illusion
big big fish flappin' our fins with pride
looks like a big big pond until you see it from the outside
Vapor
As we all learned in chemistry class in elementary school, there are generally three states of matter, and now I have written a song about one. Chemistry class was fun. I remember this one time, we all got in a big water fight with those mongo eyedropper thingies. Then, this other time, one of the guys in my lab group turned on the faucet too high while I was holding a test tube under it, and the test tube shot out of my grip and shattered all over the sink. Then, this other time, a guy burned his eyebrows off. Oh, then there was that time a pack of rabid squirrels broke the door down and devoured someone's head. Ah, those were the days.
a child can dream of ruling the world
and not need the dream to be real
but as the years of your life too quickly unfurl
those dreams become shackles of steel
whatever you want that you don't yet possess
may never end up in your hand
joy comes as quickly as you can confess
you have all you need where you stand
we're alive while god blinks his eye
chasing the sun and the stars
like vapor fading into the sky
we're not going to get very far
before his eye blinks again
we're alive while god blinks his eye
chasing the sun and the stars
like vapor fading into the sky
we're not going to get very far
before his eye blinks again
before his eye blinks again
you have all you need where you are
and wherever you go
you'll never come this way again
Smack
There is an old saying, or at least it's probably older than me, that goes along the lines of "when life gives you lemons, make lemonade". Life, of course, doesn't just give you lemons; usually they're lemons with pesticide all over them that fell off the tree a week ago and are already going bad, which means the lemonade is going to be a colossal waste of time. So my view is somewhat different from tradition - when life gives you lemons, throw them back at life's head, then get a nice running start and plant your foot into life's groin. No sense keeping the agony to yourself.
you know those jacked up days
when you're a step behind from beginning to end
bad luck is like the lottery and i've hit the jackpot again
it will hit the fan no matter what you decide to do
myself, i'd just as soon get it underway without further adieu
now and then life talks a little smack
i'm beginning to enjoy talking back
is that the best you got?
i'm not impressed, step aside
eat my amusement at the demise of my pride
now and then life talks a little smack
i'm beginning to enjoy talking back
now and then life talks a little smack
i'm beginning to enjoy talking back
Apples and Oranges
There are a lot of debates about politics and religion that used to thrash me around like a dominatrix. Experience and perspective have made me a lot less susceptible to most of those hot-button arguments in recent years. But one still keeps popping up - the incessant attempt by religious groups to inject religious beliefs into science classes in public schools. If religion were about science, there would be a scientific formula for turning water into wine. If science were about religion, there would be a prayer before the beginning of every scientific experiment. But neither one is about the other. In the immortal words of Offspring, "you gotta keep 'em separated".
god and science aren't birds of a feather
one's a bird and one's a unicorn
it never works to mix them together
no matter how many times you've been born
you say the grand design must be intelligent
if that's wisdom then i'd like another pearl
is your designer deceptive or incompetent
and why'd you want to live in either world
there's an apple in the book of genesis
and another one made isaac newton aware
two apples in an orchard of oranges
that's about all god and science share
they say to every rule there's an exception
so let me tell you what my stance is
i still believe in evolution
but i guess it didn't happen in kansas
my god's secure enough to not exist
so if he does he's on to other things
it's no sacrifice for him to resist
letting mother nature pull the strings
Thanks, Bye
The music for this song was first composed over a decade ago by yours truly and Tony Hanuman. We called it "Breezy Winter Night" back then, and I wrote what I thought were some pretty freakin' awesome lyrics for it. Then I proceeded to lose every copy I had of the recording. So what you hear today is constructed entirely from my memory, and any differences from the original version (except the newly inspired lyrics) can probably be blamed on the destruction of various neurons by tequila in the intervening years.
it's a breezy winter night
the wind cuts through my soul
orion is so bright
against a sky as black as coal
though i know it's right
that you and i were wrong
i wish i'd taken flight
and been the one that was strong
i never really knew the value of being apart
without you, it's finally taken hold
i won't deny the comfort i found in your heart
but now i'm finding comfort in the cold
it's a breezy winter night
and i'm fixated on a star
i wonder what it's like
wherever you are
i've learned a lot of things
since wishing you the best
and more about myself
than i'd have ever guessed
i never really knew the value of goodbyes
without you, i'm a little more aware
i won't deny the beauty i found in your eyes
but now i'm finding beauty in the air
Good Stuff
I was originally planning on having a song called "Bad Stuff", and in fact I wrote the music and the lyrics and performed it so perfectly that it pissed me off beyond description, so I tanked it and wrote this one in its place. You have no idea the throat pain I experienced after the opening "good stuff" line. Well of course you don't have an idea, I never told you. My mastery of the blatantly obvious provides me with no shortage of amazement.
Middle Ground
As every Denver Bronco fan knows, it never pays to get too excited or too depressed. As soon as everything is going great, and you feel blessed, you get clocked in the mouth by some random crappy event. And as soon as you think nothing's ever going to go right, life kisses and makes up. It might seem like you're in an abusive relationship with the universe, but the truth is you're pretty much on your own, and an even keel is the best way to handle being in charge of anything, and you can't be on an even keel if you're letting your emotions run wild. Oh, and eat plenty of fiber.
we all long to fly ever higher
and by moments i have soared
maybe it was the high thin air
when i felt my feet on heaven's floor
but there was nothing underneath
to prevent my fall from grace
i fell to the real floor
and landed on my face
reality has no regrets
when it sees you fall
and fall you will my friend
without a warning call
don't you fly too high
or dive too far down
salvation lies on middle ground
we all sink beneath the waves
and at times i have plunged
till i thought the bottom was near
but i felt nothing when i lunged
after a while i realized
you can always go farther down
seemed like a waste of time
so i decided to turn around
reality has no envy
when you're on the rise
and rise you will my friend
when your hesitation dies
don't you fly too high
or dive too far down
salvation lies on middle ground
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